On love in the FAMILY/The Joy of LOVE
Amoris Laetitia is a post-synodal Apostolic Exhortation resulted out of the pastoral
heart of the Holy Father Pope Francis. In this lengthy document he offers new
pastoral methods and the ways on how to help and accompany families towards
wholeness and well-being. It is basically
a catholic approach that deals about the contemporary issues of the families
from a very realistic point of view. Well, this noble document was first signed
by the Roman Pontiff on 19th March, 2016 on the feast of St Joseph
the head of the holy family. It is a lengthy document divided into nine
chapters, 325 paragraphs and has 270 pages. The document beautifully delves the
theme on the joy of love from a triangle structure in a language that is lucid
and simple; first it addresses the situation of the contemporary families in
different contexts and backgrounds and then it sets scripture as an example
where Jesus himself grew in a family setting; finally it speaks on the beauty
of the family, the responsibility in bringing up the children and thus in
concludes explaining family in the light of the scripture and tradition.
Holy Father in this document
considered family as a mission and vocation in the life of the Church and the
world at large. It is God who first willed and desired to make His Love real in
the family setting. Therefore, family in its depth has a profound meaning and
purpose, as God Himself wished to make family to grow in His love inclusively. Hence it is not a document that
consists of ideas, formulas and principles; but a copy that deals with people
who live in a family setting and context. It is not a manual of problem solver,
but a copy of deep reflections and insights coupled with wisdom of the
scriptures and age old tradition of the saints and the Church (the family of
the families). So, it reflects the mind of the Church as it brings God’s
message of Love to the families of today especially to the families that are
most in need of help, support and accompaniment.
Well, as every road has two sides,
similarly family in its dimension has negative and positive dimensions
especially in the contemporary scenario where family at every moment faces
threats of violence, poverty, money, media, ideologies and immorality-negativity
in the world. All the same it is not proper for the pastors to judge and
categorize the families and then condemn them for their state of life. So, Pope
Francis invites us all to speak about family on a positive note, especially
love in a family dimension by taking Scripture and tradition as the main
sources. Thus he invites us all to work for the renewal of families despite
biting difficulties, problems and serious issues. Therefore, Pope with this
document that resulted out of two synods offers insights to the pastors, Church
leaders and the religious to accompany the families, to offer discernment to
the new couples and to support them at times of trail and temptation. So, it is
an incentive for the pastors to form a pastoral heart to discern and guide the
families with the heart of a prodigal father.
Context: The situation and the context of the
family in this globalized times is marred and shadowed by the evil forces of
the times. As a consequence, family a social institution is shattered into
pieces. As a consequence, abortion, broken families, orphans, semi-orphans,
contraceptives, suicides, child abuses, violence against women are a daily
headlines in the news papers and news channels[83 ].
These are challenges that families
face day in and out in every nation; migration (Middle East), alcoholism,
drugs, polygamy, pornography, prostitution and domestic terrorism in the
families are few examples.
Knowing this situation of the family,
Holy Father invites the pastors to take initiative to stand by the families and
make them know the values, morals and faith as they are the running streams of
good family living. He sets Jesus who lived in a healthy family as the ideal
figure for the Christian Families. Jesus says Mt 11:28 “Come to all ye
burdened, for I will give your rest.” Thus, families collectively drive
strength in Jesus as he lived in the light of the Word. Jesus therefore, is a
paradigm for the church. We know he began his public ministry with the miracle
at the wedding feast of Cana (Jn 2: 1-11). He grew in a very homely and family
atmosphere where we see him having a deep bond with the family of Lazarus and
his sister; and with the family of Peter; he sympathized with grieving parents
and restored their children to life. (Mk: 5:41, Lk: 7:14-15). With the example
of Jesus who grew holistically in the context of the family invites us all to
grow in a family in which love is the binding force of all the members of the
family as in the holy trinity. St Paul tells how this binding force (love) is
possible in a family setting in (1 Cor13: 4-7).
‘Love begets love...’ ‘The fruit of
hard work is to work more...’ Therefore, in family life there is continuity of
love and thus the joy doubles in family as loves is shared welcoming the
offspring. Every new born baby brings home a message that God still loves the
world says Mother Theresa the saint of the poor of Kolkata. It is said, up
above the heavens, below the skies family is the best; that is the reason why
God chose to incarnate in a family where love is extended in fraternity,
parenthood and relationship. Pope Francis going a step further invites the
families even to extend this love of the family through adoption and
accommodation. However, Pope Francis acknowledges that it is noble but not an
easy task. Therefore, he invites the pastors of the Church to accompany and
prepare the young people in faith and morals. By this young people are made
aware of the Christian values, faith and morals. By this there will be less
broken families, divorces, orphans and better family upbringing and responsibility
since love is the key; for in love all things are made known and renewed in
Christ Jesus.
Family is the first school of
learning where parents play the role of teachers. Hence, it is the duty of the
parents to impart education and instill values in them. Today’s children are
tomorrow leaders of the society. Therefore, importance is ought to be given to
the upbringing of the children by educating and catechizing. Thus there is a
mutual relationship that makes a family, a family. As the pastors accompany the
young couples in matters of faith and morals so do the parents in upbringing of
their children in love. This is what Pope Francis simply calls as the
spirituality of Marriage and Faith [313-325] where togetherness is cherished,
love is shared, responsibility is shouldered and above all love is build in a
family.
Conclusion: Pope Francis thus makes an
interesting intervention through this document addressing all the families; he
describes family as a journey where everyone is invited to journey along not as
nomads but as pilgrims. It is his personal appraisal for all his people,
particularly the pastors to cultivate a pastoral heart to understand families
and the individuals who live in their own contexts without pre-conditions and
prejudices. We cannot pigeonhole people on the condition of our expectations
[298, 305]. So, to avoid this pessimistic attitude we need to cultivate a good
conscience; it is a paramount in moral decision making. At the stage legalism,
pessimism and rationalism should be avoided. Instead compassion, understanding
and support need to be offered. By this a pastor respects the freedom and
dignity of the individuals to discern and make a good decision to live well in
a family life. Of course accompaniment is a must in this process without any
force and imposition of rules and norms. It is because the situations,
contexts, traditions cultures and customs of one place are different from
another. Therefore, as pastors and educators we need to be prudent and
sensitive to the needs of the people. Thus we [pastors] respect all the members
of the family. A pastor is exhorted to cultivate a merciful heart like God who
loves us all despite our limitations and weaknesses. Such a pastor does not
condemn the people, does not judge them; instead like the catalyst s/he
invites all to experience the taste of God’s mercy, goodness and love.
Pastors are therefore, exhorted to
go out and meet people where they are and not expecting people to come to their
comfort castles and isolated cells. Only by going to the people a pastor can
understand the complexities of people in their living situations. This act of a
pastor propels him/her to extend one’s hands to help those sheep that need our
care, support and love. So, when there is love there is no place for
judgments, instead there is love that bears all things like Crucified Jesus
who could forgive the people who were mocking, thieves on his right and left, Peter
who denied him thrice, disciples who ran for life leaving him alone, Pilate who
was self-righteous and those wicked elders who could not stomach Jesus as the
son of God, Jesus who forgave the Samaritan, Jesus who gave sight to the
Barthimaeus, Jesus the Good Shepherd, Jesus who wept, Jesus who sympathized
with people, Jesus who had pity for people, Jesus on the cross, Jesus on the
way to Emmaus, Jesus on the sea shore and Jesus who was ascending is our model,
example and ideal for the pastoral work. Jesus is the forgiving of the Father.
In Jesus we have forgiveness of our sins. Therefore, let us draw strength from
Him to work for the kingdom that Jesus embarked amidst us. Only in Jesus we
have our source of strength and hope. Jesus is the way, truth and the life. For
he was at home with the smell of the sheep of his time and like the catalyst
liberated the sinners, healed the sick, fed the hungry and raised the dead to
life. He was ever connected to His Father who is rich in mercy and love.
This document Amoris Laetitia
is an exhortation for the pastors, seminarians, leaders of the Church and the
parents to grow in freedom and love of the father in a particular setting of a
family where one is situated. It is a positive note of encouragement for all
Christians to cultivate the Christian values and morals for a better living and
giving for the good of all.
(your comments and suggestions are encouraged...)
Fr Sngi Silvanus Lyngdoh calls it a day
obliging God’s call to his heavenly home. He was born on 03rd
January, 1921 and was born to eternal bliss on 28th May, 2016 at
5:30 am Saturday. He spent his last days in pain and suffering in the Nazzareth
hospital for a month and finally, breathed his last on 28th May,
2016 at 5:30 am Saturday. On the death of Fr Sngi (our father) we deeply feel
sorry for the loss of his physical presence with us; yet, we are happy today
because we have won a powerful intercessor in heaven on our behalf. 
Fr Sngi was a strong man, determined to evangelize
people of Khasi hills. Young as he was, committed for this noble task of
spreading the values of Kingdom. He is the power force for Khasi people who made
them from no one to someone in the world. What is true of him is not mere hard
work but hard work coupled with faith. For him, it was not the work that
sustained him rather faith that sustained him to work more; thus for him the
fruit of hard work is to work more. Thus he lived to the full the words of St
John Bosco ‘loboure, loboure and loboure;’ Work, work and
work were the lasting words of St John Bosco to his followers. 
